Maria by Blondie

TITLE: Maria
ARTIST: Blondie
CHART POSITION: 1
DATE IT WAS A HIT: February 1999

B-SIDES?: A couple of remixes. They could have done better, frankly.

CONTEXT IN MY LIFE: I'd just made it through the first term at university and was spending a lot of time listening to my radio while 'studying'. Amazingly, I'd managed to make it to the age of 19 without really knowing many Blondie songs apart from 'Atomic' and 'The Tide is High', and when this song hit the charts it sounded brand new. I wasn't even put off Blondie by the fact that a hideous girl on the same corridor of my accommodation block used to play the Greatest Hits at an absurd volume at 3am.

DISMAL OR DISCERNING?: Yeah, I wish I could say I bought 'Denis' back in 1978, but that just wasn't possible. 'Maria' is a totally nonsense song with nonsense lyrics, but it's got that distinctive Blondie sound, and a great opening riff. 'Walking on imported air' makes no sense at all, but you know exactly what they mean. One of the higher points in my singles-buying career.

Baby Can I Hold You by Boyzone

TITLE: Baby Can I Hold You
ARTIST: Boyzone
CHART POSITION: 2
DATE IT WAS A HIT: December 1997

B-SIDES?: 'Shooting Star', the theme from Disney's film 'Hercules'. The film was actually quite funny, but the song was was the aural equivalent of treacle.

CONTEXT IN MY LIFE: I was 18 and in my final year at school, and I'd like to state for the record that Boyzone weren't typical of my music collection. Fool that I was, I didn't realise that 'Baby Can I Hold You' was originally a Tracy Chapman song, and that she sung it much better, but something about Ronan's tortured Irish tones must have got me.

DISCERNING OR DISMAL?: Er, there's no contest, really. The only consolation for me is that at least it wasn't a Westlife single.

Mulder and Scully by Catatonia

TITLE: Mulder and Scully
ARTIST: Catatonia
CHART POSITION: 3
DATE IT WAS A HIT: January 1998

B-SIDES?: 'No Stone Unturned', 'Mantra for the Lost', 'Ex-Files' remix of 'Mulder and Scully'. For the record, they were all rubbish.

CONTEXT IN MY LIFE: I was an 18-year old X Files obsessive in my final year at high school. The show completely consumed my life, and I was also somewhat enamoured of the dour-faced David Duchovny. The X Files was absolutely massive at the time, and I'm pretty sure that Catatonia just jumped on the band-wagon - I think Cerys Matthews even admitted that she didn't watch the show. But that didn't matter to someone who collected almost anything related to the programme that was going. I think the song also appealed to me because it seemed to be about a woman who was extremely frustrated in love - a feeling that was all too familiar at the time. I remember that the video seemed to feature a rave in the Welsh countryside, which was being investigated by David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson look-alikes - I think they ended up snogging on the dancefloor, too.

DISMAL OR DISCERNING?: Listening again, this is little more than a novelty song, really. And if you find Cerys Matthews' Welsh-accented warblings at all irritating (which, on virtually every other Catatonia song, I do) then you're going to hate it. But it's incredibly catchy and has an unmistakable opening guitar strum. I probably should be ashamed, but I'm not.

Every Day is a Winding Road by Sheryl Crow

TITLE: Everyday is a Winding Road
ARTIST: Sheryl Crow
CHART POSITION: 12
DATE IT WAS A HIT: November 1996

B-SIDES?: Live versions of 'If It Makes You Happy', 'All I Wanna Do' and 'Run, Baby, Run'.

CONTEXT IN MY LIFE: I had not long turned 17, and had got Sheryl's recently-released self-titled album for my birthday. I also went to see her in concert at the Newcastle Arena the month this song was a hit, and thought she was great. What I really associate this song with, though, is going out with my friends to disco nights at Newcastle University. We were all underage and had been given tickets on the sly by the brother of one of my friends. The student union was probably delighted to let us in, because these nights were often virtually deserted. This song played during one particular evening, and I remember my friend, Rachel, spilling something sticky and alcholic on her skirt. When I went into the toilets, there she was in her pants, holding the skirt under the hand-driver and singing 'Everyday is a Winding Road.'

DISCERNING OR DISMAL?: Although Sheryl's music has taken quite a cheesy path, I'll admit on the quiet than I'm still a fan. This is one of those sunny, feelgood songs that I still know all the words to, and one of the few singles I own that take me back to an exact point in my life. Still don't think that 'everyday' is the right spelling in that context, though...

Jump, Jive & Wail by the Brian Setzer Orchestra

TITLE: Jump, Jive & Wail
ARTIST: The Brian Setzer Orchestra
CHART POSITION: 34
DATE IT WAS A HIT: April 1999

B-SIDES?: Can't remember what was on my cassette, but the CD version had 'This Cat's On a Hot Tin Roof' and 'Hoodoo Voodoo Doll'. Whatever it was, I didn't listen to it.

CONTEXT IN MY LIFE: It was towards the end of my first year at university, and I was going through a strange easy listening and swing phase, possibly inpsired by seeing 'Swingers'.I think the song was on a Gap advert (the height of evil, obviously), but I don't remember seeing it.

DISCERNING OR DISMAL?: Just as a point of interest, recent photos of ageing rockabilly Brian suggest that he is turning into Michael Flatley. Or perhaps he really is the Lord of the Dance? Bet they've never been seen in the same place at the same time. Anyway, I've long since recovered from my swing music phase, as has everyone else, if my attempts to sell the 'Swingers' soundtrack on eBay are anything to go by. 'Jump, Jive and Wail' isn't a bad song, and it's the kind of thing that goes down very well with dads at weddings, once they've been at the sherry for a couple of hours. I'm not ashamed of this - just increasingly puzzled at my tastes.

Cars by Gary Numan

TITLE:Cars
ARTIST:Gary Numan
DATE IT WAS A HIT: March 1996
CHART POSITION: 17

B-SIDES?: Live version of 'Are Friends Electric?'

CONTEXT IN MY LIFE: It was my GCSE year at school, and at the time I was more into The Beatles and REM. 'Cars' was re-released because it was being used in an ad for Carling Premier, and it was my first real taste of New Wave - even if Numan was selling out something rotten. I later discovered that the original release of 'Cars' was Number 1 the week I was born. Spooky.

DISCERNING OR DISMAL?: I actually still rate this song. It's a bit of a novelty track, but it's got great synth and it will still sound good in another 25 years. In short, I'm not embarrassed to have bought it - and I have a feeling I won't be saying that very often...

Hazard by Richard Marx

TITLE: Hazard
ARTIST: Richard Marx
CHART POSITION: 3
WHEN WAS IT A HIT?: May 1992

B-SIDES?:Rich's angsty 1989 ballad, 'Right Here Waiting'

CONTEXT IN MY LIFE: I was 12 years old and 'Hazard' was the first single I ever bought - not a great thing to have to admit to people. At the time, there was an offer with Golden Grahams cereal where you saved up 3 tokens and then got a free cassette single from Our Price (which, at the time, cost about 99p.) So, sorry Rich, I didn't even spend actual money on your music.

DISCERNING OR DISMAL?: Mulleted Marx reeked of the '80s, but something about this tragic tale of lost love and a boy from the wrong side of the tracks obviously appealed to me in my pre-teen years. I never did see the accompanying video, but I believe it illustrated the untimely death of the narrator's one true love, Mary. Actually, this isn't as bad as I feared it might be, but I wish my first single had been something cool - it never is, is it? A colleague of mine recently told me that she too had bought 'Hazard' as her first single...until she remembered that she'd actually bought 'It's 'Orrible Being In Love When You're Eight-and-a-half' a few years earlier. So I suppose it could have been worse.